One of the most loathed things in my life has been my inability to find sleep when I need it most. I toss and turn for a few hours, even when I am utterly exhausted, and then when I get desperate enough I take a sleeping pill, or 2, and deal with it's effects halfway through the next day. So here I am waiting for it to kick in, still listening to Explosions in the Sky songs that were supposed to help me fall asleep pre-medicated sleep aid.
I just received an email from an acquaintance of several years ago, asking if he could crash on my couch on his way through Nashville. I hated that I had to reply and say that I would not be back to my apartment from NH in time. I offered up friends, but now that I think about it I'm not sure if I would want a complete stranger on my couch, even though he is one of the sweetest people I had ever met (years ago, though....maybe he's changed?).
It is stressful when I start a new project that I have to work on for more than a few days. It consumes my thoughts, even when I have too much fear to actually take the first steps in it, such as ripping apart seams and actually turning on my sewing machine.
Things like this only add to my anxiety.
But hey, Elle said it's ok to smoke weed to alleviate these symptoms. hah. It helps me sleep. Oh sleep.... where are you ?